Boko haram

Beloved, following the slaughter of about 40kids in their dormitory by boko haram in yobe state, Nigeria, a mandate has been raised by Christians united against this terror. Let God ARISE! God has not changed, He is the same God who ambushed the enemies of Israel. #letGodarise is a divine instruction to call on God to wipe out Boko Haram! 10 minutes of prayer from 12 midnight to 12:10 am on Saturday 1st March. Wherever you are on friday night set your alarm and join at least a million voices and pray LET GOD ARISE! Tell everyone till a million voices arise.

Traditions and cultures in marriage

As an African, As a very proud nigerian.
I must say the beauty of our country are the cultures and traditions Lol most of them are really annoying and weird But traditions are traditions and we must Not forget our route.
Let me use the state filled with more traditions than I have ever heard or seen all My life.

Edo state
Edo state is one of the most cultured society in Nigeria, I mean like serious traditions for example in Edo If You cheat on your husband, the kids go sick and your husband goes poor and If solution is Not found on time it might lead to loss of life.
Some people don't believe it But it is real, so real.
Most of This traditions don't favor women at all, like the cheating tradition.
An Edo man can cheat and nothing will happen But If the wife cheats #TROUBLE why can't it be for both spouse?
So As a nigerian woman engaged to get married You must/should be close to your inlaws especially If You are getting married to someone from a different ethnic group.
its like a new school and If possible whenever You are with your inlaws take pen and paper. Okay I wanna ask You guys, how many of You(Not Edo) knows that in some parts of Edo state If a mortar(for pounding yam) is turned upside down, it is a taboo for the man of the house to eat food made with that mortar.

Your husband might Not tell You all the traditions probably to Not scare You off or He also don't know.
so You must Not only marry your husband But also marry his family, being close to the family has so many advantage. You might Not be close to all members of the family But at least be close to one or two.

Marriage in Africa does Not end in husband and wife, it also involves the family. When your husband is misbehaving and You feel You have talked to him enough; who do You run to? HIS FAMILY. They are the ones that could talk to him.
The prayer of every nigerian woman is Not just for God to give her a good man But also good inlaws because inlaws matters a lot when it comes to MARRIAGE

Well My poison are
1) always ask questions about the traditions and cultures in This new. place You are about to call your home

2) Be close to your inlaws, Good inlaws are hard just like Good husband and If You find one, be greatful and be close to them

explore your potentials

A post inspiredme to write this, it might Not go down well with a lot of people But I suggest If you can't say your opinion in a matured manner just don't bother reading.

Its a pity that in this days some women feel their destiny is tied to their husbands and that their husbands wealth is their wealth.
This women sacrifice their future career, brains and youthful exuberant all for a man, they believe they shouldn't be higher than their husbands, they believe they shouldn't have more qualifications or millions than their husbands.

first of all let me clear the impression that every woman richer than her husband is disrespectful. well that is a pure lie, a disrespectful woman is a disrespectful woman, money or no money. All This broke ass ghetto mamma are the ones that beats up their men. It all depends on their upbringing and believe.

Some women say God created women to push her husband forward and be the pillar for her husband, she should do nothing But be there for her man, she no longer exist as long as she is married, her identity should Now be that of Her husbands nothing else.

Yes you should be there for him, support him and be his confidant etc etc.
Now lets say My man walks into the room all gloomy: I ask, baby what's wrong
He says his goods has been ceased and He needs 10 million naira to get it released.

which of This 2 response is more helpful
A) I have 5million what are we going to do to raise the remains?
B) don't worry its going to be okay everyone passes through rough times.

hehehehe Women God created you to be his companion and it goes way beyond giving advice, children, sex and good food. You need to be up and doing, ndi igbo sI na akaraka Di iche (destinies are different). Your star might be brighter than that of your husband its Not your fault God has a reason.
If God wanted women to just sit at home and solve home problems then He wouldn't give a woman like Katherine yelick the brains she has.
There are no limitations to your success no matter your gender.
If God gave You the potentials then He needs You to use it for the world to see, He wants the world to benefit from what He has put in You, My God is no fool for making You smart.
#explore_Ur_potentials

He is cheating

I don't know what to do or say I Jus can't help it, I can't forgive My husband for cheating and lying to me, I try to let go But I just can't.

We have been married for 5 years and for 4 of those years He has been lying and cheating. I feel the cheating is even better than lying because even If you catch him red handed in his lies He will always lie to cover it, I have hated him, I can't get to love him again, I really want out of this marriage.

Some months back I asked him to give me money for a cream $10 He told me He had no money, He never has money for me, He leaves me for 2 weeks in the name of work yet He is always broke.

Some weeks back I found out He had over 20 thousand dollars in his account and uses a phone of $2000 which I didn't know about, He hides it all from me and the phone is for chatting and flirting.
I have asked him several times If He had another phone yet He has denied severally. I even saw the phone sometime ago in his car and He said a friend must have forgotten it.

How I found out all this things was when He was arrested on his way back from the club with his girlfriend and friends on a day He was supposedly to be out of town. infact lets Not talk about his friends because they are assholes. They come to My house, eat My food, praise me yet they know their friend is cheating sometimes I wish I poisoned their food.
So as I was saying when they were arrested one of the girls with them had a gun so the case was serious and He was asked to call his family hmmm and that was How all got exposed. Am sure there is more He is hiding But I don't want to know, I don't care If He is changed But He doesn't deserve me and am going for divorce. He is telling me He is repented and that He loves me But I can't forgive the lies or rather I can't forget them, when I see his face all I see is the face of a liar, I can't let it go If you can help me please do because the hatred am feeling for him is transferring to other men.

Me: this is the story of a girl that calls me her mentor, am speechless and shocked at the rate people lie and deceive the ones they claim they love, as you can see in this story it took just one day for all his lies to be exposed and that is How life is: they say everyday for the thief and one day for the owner of the house. Nothing can be hidden under the sun straighten your part My friend.
The best advice I can give to anyone in her position is leave before the hatred get worst and leads you to do something you will regret.

Life is too short to hang around people that cause you pain and disrespects you.
If He has changed Good But I strongly believe you need separation to find yourself again because I know the emotional trauma you are going through. Trust me I've been there.

Leave, rebuild yourself, renew your mind, you can't continue to live with anger, anger births pain and hate, life is beautiful and so are you.
you deserve the best

How to know He loves You

signs that He lovvvveeeesssss You

1) He supports and compromise: He supports your dreams, He can suspend some things He is doing to be with You at that audition, He can even buy You the form even though He hates acting, He knows You love diet coke and He prefers fanta so He would take half of his fanta off the fridge and add your diet coke.

2) He thinks about You: I know You are thinking How am I supposed to know He thinks about me But the signs are obvious, He sends You messages sometimes naughty messages, smiley faces, jokes and etc. He looks for the little excuses to talk with You.

3)The way He looks at You: The eyes holds many secrets of the heart, when You are talking He gets lost in your eyes or your smiles, He sits quietly and watch You talk, what You are saying is probably Not interesting But oh well when a man loves a woman ____________

4)He cares: This is the most obvious sign, You both May be quarreling and then something happens to You, He suddenly forgets He was ever angry and rush to you. Are You okay? what should I do to help? what's wrong?

5)He wants You to meet his friends and family: He can't keep his lips sealed, He wants to introduce You to the most important people in his life, most ladies mis read This, they believe when a man introduces You to his family He wants to marry You, :-) no darling Not necessarily sometimes its a way to show You How important You have become to him, He might be in love with You But has no marriage  plan yet

6)He says "I love You" : You probably don't believe This one based on the way those 3 words are misused But the truth is, a man that is truly in love can't hide his feelings forever. I love You/am in love with You are the hardest words to say when You really mean it, so the day He finally says those words You better believe it sister.

Now You know, the funny things about This signs is that Now the players knows we know the signs, so they come up with same trick to cajole a girl into falling for them But Not to worry I will also make a post on How to spot the players.

The African mind

When the husband cheats they point to the wife oh she wasn't doing a good job thats why

when the husband beats the wife they point to the wife ,oh she probably annoyed him

Now they forget that charity begins at home. The parents forget that their son is living their legacy, they gave him all the go ahead He needed, they made him feel its the right thing to do.
No no the wife did nothing, his parents/guardian did all the training, the wife has no hand in it.
Am sick of hearing people say its her fault instead of its his fault or their fault when it comes to marriage.
Every individual is responsible for their actions so If there is another person to hold then its the offender himself.

What most ladies are suffering today in their marriage are the fault of our mothers and grand mothers, they let the man batter them and they stayed, their little kids watched mommy and daddy fight or rather watched mommy got beaten by daddy.
They saw daddy flirt with women and even brought home other women and mommy sat n watched,
Oh its a man's world she said.

She has forgotten that You should train up a child in the way He should grow. You can't teach a boy How to steal all his childhood and expect him to grow into an honest man.

women of this generation lets Not make the mistakes our parents made, If He is Not changing and repenting take your kids out, cheating, battering, lying and deceit are hereditary, You can't afford to bring up your child that way.

A few tips If you are Running out of things to say in your long distance relationship

long distance relationship can be really hard especially when it comes to conversations, If they were physically present then maybe the look on your face could do the talking. At the start of your long distance relationship you talked for an hour on phone without running out of topics, it was so much fun then suddenly those 1hour calls turned to 30mins, then 10mins, 1minute and before you realised it you no longer want to call or pick their calls because it has become to predictable. Well Thank God you came across this because here are some proven tips to create a long and good conversation with Not just your lover But with anyone.

1) LISTEN : when you listen you could create many topics from what your partner is saying even with the simplest and most cliche answers ..   for example __
You: baby what did you eat this morning ?
Him: I had tea and bread
You: what kind of bread?
Him: white bread
You: really you prefer white bread or that was the only kind of bread available?
from there topics will arise, it might Not be about the bread maybe about the milk He used and so on and so forth. sounds silly right? But with this topic you can end up talking about favourite foods, recipes, eating healthy and many more food related topics.
This way you are also getting to know each other better. This can also relate to other aspects of life like why He prefers driving to a long  instead of taking the train.. This can birth other topics like cars, roads, government and politics

2) TEAM WORK: For you to have a conversation or dialogue 2 people should be involved. Relationship is just like a game of football ,each team needs its complete 11 players to function perfectly or in This case the 2players.
You can't be the only one talking and asking all the questions. If you notice your partner is letting you do the talking then kindly ask them to get on board and If they ain't in the right mood to talk then you could call back.
Being the only one contributing is a big conversation killer.

3)TRY NEW THINGS: If you find yourself having the same kind of conversation everyday then maybe its because you do the same thing everyday, try something new, a new experience would bring a new conversational topic. Even as a person having same routine and schedule everyday  could get boring its Not good to be too predictable.

4)PREPARATION: Writting down what you want to say could be helpful, Lol when I told a friend this she said "am I giving a presidential speech or am talking to My boyfriend"
Writting it down doesn't necessarily mean you will use it sometimes the plans change and we just naturally go with the flow. When you write something down even If you are Not with the paper it sometimes sticks to your brain especially If you were thinking about it before Writting it, so it will be a good reminder If you had an important subject you wanted to discuss

5)TAKE A LITTLE BREAK: If all this ain't working Maybe for some days don't call or avoid their calls, you could send short messages indicating you are busy and little I love you messages here and there.
The experience from those days you didn't talk on phone would make a long conversation plus you both will be anxious to talk to each other :-) it will be like talking to an old friend for the first time in years Hahahaha Yes when you miss someone you love even for  some days it feels like months. Once in a while we need to give space for your partner to miss you it makes the heart grow fonder

Goodluck