He is cheating

I don't know what to do or say I Jus can't help it, I can't forgive My husband for cheating and lying to me, I try to let go But I just can't.

We have been married for 5 years and for 4 of those years He has been lying and cheating. I feel the cheating is even better than lying because even If you catch him red handed in his lies He will always lie to cover it, I have hated him, I can't get to love him again, I really want out of this marriage.

Some months back I asked him to give me money for a cream $10 He told me He had no money, He never has money for me, He leaves me for 2 weeks in the name of work yet He is always broke.

Some weeks back I found out He had over 20 thousand dollars in his account and uses a phone of $2000 which I didn't know about, He hides it all from me and the phone is for chatting and flirting.
I have asked him several times If He had another phone yet He has denied severally. I even saw the phone sometime ago in his car and He said a friend must have forgotten it.

How I found out all this things was when He was arrested on his way back from the club with his girlfriend and friends on a day He was supposedly to be out of town. infact lets Not talk about his friends because they are assholes. They come to My house, eat My food, praise me yet they know their friend is cheating sometimes I wish I poisoned their food.
So as I was saying when they were arrested one of the girls with them had a gun so the case was serious and He was asked to call his family hmmm and that was How all got exposed. Am sure there is more He is hiding But I don't want to know, I don't care If He is changed But He doesn't deserve me and am going for divorce. He is telling me He is repented and that He loves me But I can't forgive the lies or rather I can't forget them, when I see his face all I see is the face of a liar, I can't let it go If you can help me please do because the hatred am feeling for him is transferring to other men.

Me: this is the story of a girl that calls me her mentor, am speechless and shocked at the rate people lie and deceive the ones they claim they love, as you can see in this story it took just one day for all his lies to be exposed and that is How life is: they say everyday for the thief and one day for the owner of the house. Nothing can be hidden under the sun straighten your part My friend.
The best advice I can give to anyone in her position is leave before the hatred get worst and leads you to do something you will regret.

Life is too short to hang around people that cause you pain and disrespects you.
If He has changed Good But I strongly believe you need separation to find yourself again because I know the emotional trauma you are going through. Trust me I've been there.

Leave, rebuild yourself, renew your mind, you can't continue to live with anger, anger births pain and hate, life is beautiful and so are you.
you deserve the best

Never beg a cheat to stay

I will never understand why people whom are cheated on ends up begging the cheat to stay or stop the other affair bla bla

have some dignity my friend, no matter what you think IT IS NOT YOUR FAULT THAT YOU ARE CHEATED ON. That decision to cheat and betray that relationship/marriage was a personal decision it was out of their own will.
They knew you would be hurt If you found out but they still cheated anyway.

Have some pride my dear, If you beg and this cheat stays then the cheating will never stop because you have giving him/her all the power and in their eyes you have lost all respect.

You need to set your standard Now, what you can tolerate and what you cant tolerate, no matter how much in love you are, they need to earn your trust that is If you are willing to take em back. You are too special and If your partner cant see that then they need to use the door. You cant keep getting hurt in the name of love.

own up to your faults

cheating is a choice, when you are caught do
yourself a favour and dont play the blame game,
even If your partner was at fault somehow its still
Not a Good enough reason to cheat you should
had talked it out, the time you use in spending
with the person you are cheating with should had
been used cementing your marriage or
relationship .. I know its going to hurt your
partner knowing the whole truth But you just have
to say the whole truth to avoid future damage and
prolonged recovery in your relationship.

Why men cheat

TOP REASONS MEN CHEAT

It will shock you to know that sex isn’t one of them

NOT BEING APPRECIATED

some women can destroy a mans self esteem ehnn, always comparing him to Mr Eric that just bought Mrs Eric a car, you make him feel like He is never doing enough, then He goes to the office and finds Caroline that praises him wow you are so hardworking, How do you do it? 

NAGGING

hehehehe This one will just keep him permanent in Caroline's house, men are really emotional. Yes they are, the only thing is that men are really good in hiding their feelings, they pile it up and try to be strong about it but when he comes home to relax after a stressful day at work you start yelling, you cant shut up and ignore somethings your mouth runs faster than a tap. 

DISORGANIZATION

He got attracted to you and fell in love with you for a reason, What happened to that woman He fell in love with? Yes i mean the sexy one that always puts on sexy shorts and makes her hair, always neat, her nails are spotless Now What He is seeing is a woman who looks like a wolf long nails, tattered hair always has wrapper wrapped around her chest please my dear support that breast, bra is not expensive Caroline is always on top of her game

STUBBORNESS

He talks one you and you had already dropped ten, He says sit down and you say shut up “i say shut up because u married me is that why you think you can boss me around what a man can do a woman can do better” You never listen to him. Hahahaha say goodbye to your husband in case you dont know caro is single, desperate and can even kneel down just to tell him welcome. 

LACK OF ATTENTION

i know you are busy with the kids i know you are busy with the kids but men needs attention even more than women , they are like big babies. When He comes back from work do you sit and talk about his day? What do you even know about his job? did u notice the shirt He wore to the office today? did you tell him He looks Good? Ummm caro is always ready, “sup honey damn u look smashing today How was your night?.. 

PS: all This grammar are nonsense If u have a chronic womanizer for a husband

Forgiveness

Its very hard to let go and forgive after being hurt by someone you love, you are trying But each time you try the image of that incident flash in your mind. Its extremely  hard But here are 2 things that might help

1) Understand that we are all humans, we mess up, being hurt is expected i mean nobody is perfect. No matter how bad you feel you can never change what happened and holding grudge holds you back from God's blessings  Let go of the grudge so God will let go off your blessings.

2) whenever the image of that hurt comes to your mind, distract yourself , do something else, get busy.

#life is beautiful so be happy