i woke up in the middle of the night on this faithful day and found my clothes soaked with blood, hmmm yet another miscarriage. i couldnt be more upset and i could see the frustration in my husbands face when he screamed oh damn not again, but he still manage to suck it up and take me to the hospital, where they flushed out the remains, this really brought the worst side of me. i was so sick of the situation that i didnt let my husband touch me for a month, afterall what was the need of having sex, get pregnant and have another miscarriage. john was still the sweet loving man ive always known he tried to get me understand that all happens for the best, he tried to inspire me but i wasnt buying any of it even my work couldnt get me stop brooding, my husband would get me gifts n shower me with love, i wondered what sort of man is this? what sort of love was this, i drew closer and closer to GOD everyday, my situaion might disconnect me from people but it never disconnected me from GOD, i wanted to have a baby boy for my husband cos i know an igbo man without a son or an heir as they would say is nothing and a woman who hasnt given her husband a son is not yet setled in her home, i was always down, brooding and thinking. when my husband came back from work one day he came bak drunk, it was very unusual because i know my husband neither drinks nor smoke but he was smelling of ciggerates. i was suprised, upset and worried i tried getting some answers from him but it was useless because he was so intoxicated and couldnt even say reasonable things, so i managed to get him off his clothes, it then dawned on me that i am pushing my husband away with my new attitude, i loved my husband so much and wouldnt want to lose him just because of a miscarriage, so i made sure things went normal again. the plaza he was building for me was done by now and i started renting it out i also occupied one of the shops where i started selling provisions but i didnt save money, my husband always warns me to be saving and i wish i could but family problems kept coming, it would be one story to the other from my siblings even those that were in lagos always come bothering me and i couldnt say no, i decided to be giving the rents to my husband to be keeping thisway am sure it wont be spent, this family wahala kept going on i felt like i was the family bank and even my step mother that was in aba wen she heard about my husband she came asking him for money without my knowledge, she told him that she wanted to relocate to port harcourt and would want him to give her money to rent a room bacha in that place my parents were living and my husband gave him, i dont often agree with my step mother so it got me furious that she would go on such mission without even asking me, i complained to my father who asked me to forgive her.
on our daughters 4 year birthday on the november 13th we had a big party to celebrate it and i also had some goodnews of mine, i was pregnant again and this time i knew in my heart that it had come to stay, as my pregnancy was growing i noticed my husband always travels to the village he doesnt always tell me his extended family isssues, but this time i was determined to know so he informed me that he was building a house in the village and wanted to suprise me with it, i wasnt comfortable with this plan because i always get a bad vibe whenever i go to his village. it then hit me the dream i had some days ago about how i, my husband and precious were travelling and our vehicle got attacked by masquerades with machette i and precious escaped but john couldnt, i told this dream to him and he got scared because he knew my dreams always becomes reality, i asked him to fast with me so we can pray to GOD together as a family, during this seven day fast i would go to the church and pray, my little sister chisom 13 years came to visit me so she would take care of precious when she came back. on the 5th day of my fast as i got back home that evening i saw a crowd, people crying and some people telling me sorry, i didnt know what was happening but when i got into my house i saw my brother inlaws wives trying on my husband shoes and clothes while their wives were trying on my clothes some were even taking my daughters clothes it was mayhem, my 3box of wrappers were already not in the house anymore,i was shocked at what was going on and then i started yelling at them demanding an answer and when they saw me they started crying then one of his brother told me that my husband was dead. what?? dead? how? i think my world just shattered, i am finished i cried. oh my GOD why me, what am i going to do with myself now, JESUS why did u forsake me words cant properly do justice to how i felt, its over for me was all that kept running through my mind
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